Turns out, according to a recent article on The Huffington Post our lesbian sisters are experiencing orgasmic bliss way more than us straight ones (75% vs. 62%)
Wonder why?
Orgasms are never about technique. Or gender. Or anatomy.
They’re about energy.
More specifically about the energy of trust, love and surrender.
Of fully letting go.
Of walking off the edge.
Of showing up naked. In all senses of the word.
Of baring your heart open to your partner. Of communing and communicating.
But before that they are about connecting with our own sexual energy. Understanding what we’re made of, how the lights go on and what it takes to truly shudder in orgasmic bliss from the inside out.
This involves getting familiar with our genitalia: exploring, noting the changes during different phases of our moon cycle and embracing and celebrating our very unique sexual landscape.
Then sharing this understanding with the beloved.
If you’re not fully willing to open up to your partner – emotionally, spiritually, intellectually – then opening up sexually won’t be possible either.
If you’re in bed with your lover but your mind’s thinking about the emails you need to send, an orgasm (or five) might elude you.
If you approach your sex life as you do your job: deadlines, structures, defined roles and goals, then you’ll never know what it feels like to dissolve into the other.
If you don’t feel completely safe, loved and accepted by your lover, you will not allow yourself to explode with earth-shattering orgasmic bliss.
If can’t reveal who you are in that spontaneous moment to your lover – the wild or the soft or the priestess-like or the impish (because, you know, we are incredibly multi-faceted like that) then you will not feel safe enough to enjoy sex, leave alone orgasm.
Orgasms are about sharing, revealing, opening up your heart and mind to your lover. It’s the precursor. If it doesn’t happen, then your body will not open either.
Straight, bisexual or lesbian, can you say you have a true communion – of the body, mind heart and spirit – with your partner?
Orgasms have been made complex, unfathomable, elusive things. They’ve been reduced to a science. And love, sex and orgasms were never meant to be scrutinised, examined, bottled and boxed with appropriate labels and how-to instructions.
The secret is play. To be childlike: innocent, curious, sensual. And to allow what comes.
And you will come. Over and over again… you will come.
Talking about coming, I hope you’ll come to my free workshop The Yogasmic Woman on 9/11 where I will cover the ancient teachings of Yoga, Tantra and Taoism to demystify and explore feminine sexuality.
Click here for details and to register.
Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex.
– Havelock Ellis
In the comments, please share what, in your opinion, is keeping straight women from experiencing orgasms? What are your secrets? 😉
Ohhh, a provocative post, almost made me blush reading it – haha! Honestly, I never had a problem, and I’m straight. Maybe your right though, women are stressed out about their lives and thinking about that more than thinking about their partners when they are in the moment.
Hahaha Brenda! Me neither but I meet and work with women who struggle or have never peaked. There are many factors involved and I’m hoping to open the door so we can discuss and learn. More blush-inducing stuff to come! Thanks for your comment. Love xo
Hahaha Brenda! Me neither but I meet and work with women who struggle or have never peaked. There are many factors involved and I’m hoping to open the door so we can discuss and learn. More blush-inducing stuff to come! Thanks for your comment. Love xo
“The secret is to play.” Love that! Beautiful post. Thanks so much for sharing. 🙂
Glad you enjoyed it Viki! Thanks for stopping by 🙂 xo
Cara I hear you. It’s REALLY challenging to quiet the monkey mind, especially during love-making. I teach clients to practice several centering techniques before they start. We can’t deprive ourselves of these natural pleasures without suffering in the body-mind.
totally agree- all about CONNECTION ! We are taught to focus on the physical but this journey is absolutely one based on spirit and heart- thank- you!
YES!! Shelley…more spirit and heart, it’s what we need in bed and in the world in general. Love your comment. Thanks so much <3
OMGosh blushes aside – Brilliant post and insight to the connection between love and deep bonding with our partners and work. It made total sense – it’s all about energy. It’s all about the energy you are bring into your romantic union. If you mind is elsewhere, the disconnect will most definitely be felt on an energetic level between the two people.. It’s about being totally present in any situation, whether that’s to do with love or beyond.. ❤ xx
Glad it resonates Roxy. And I love how you end with “love or beyond” because the same principle applies to all other aspects of life too! Thanks for adding to the conversation. love xo
Wow. Gorgeous Post.
I’m finally opening the door to including this extremely foundational part of love and life into the exploration of myself… I love the secret: play.
So here I go. I commit to bringing out the play in life and in the bedroom
Excited for you Inge 🙂 love xo