Just say no.
Easier said than done, right? As women we are programmed to extend ourselves till we turn blue in the face (not to mention very resentful). Adding on chores, responsibilities and tasks into our life when our body, mind and heart are saying no is just another form of stress and overwhelm.
It clogs our creativity and clarity.
As managers and entrepreneurs this can be dangerous to our health and business. If we don’t have clarity about what to say NO to, we are drained of our energy to say YES to the right things as well.
I was an out-and-out “Yes” woman once. I said yes to everything: that side project at work no one else wanted to take on, the friend who needed a place to stay for a weekend (and stayed a month!), the cousin who needed money and forgot to return it. It (I) was a mess :O
How do you know if you’re doing what you don’t want to do?
Your vocabulary will tell you.
If you hear yourself saying such phrases as
“I should”
“I have to”
“I’m supposed to”
“I must”
“I have no choice…”
“We have to do what we have to do”
“If I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done”
These words are a sure sign that you’re doing something not because you want to, but because you feel it is expected of you. This is the root of your conflict—the gap between what you want to do and what you believe others want you to do.
When we can’t see the forest for the trees we lose perspective of what’s truly important and of value in our lives. (Tweet it)
The trick to adding more time to our lives is to identify our true north, and letting that compass guide our clock and our calendar. As Stephen Covey would say “Do the first things first!”. Here’s a video illustrating the power of this concept called “Big Rocks”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDsSfvhsjW0
If you feel you’re spinning your wheels as you grow your business, I urge you to check out a free workshop my friend Veronica has put together called “Go from Do It Yourself to Doing It Fantastically”. I’m a speaker at this event and it has an incredible line-up of industry experts. You will learn how to:
- Stop Stressing Out
- Have your business automated
- Make More Time For Yourself and Your Family
- Learn about the shortcuts successful entrepreneurs have already done and model EXACTLY what they do.
Interested? Click here to learn more and sign up.
That’s a great video! and i guess, if the big things are taken care of, when the bucket is full, it’s beyond time to keep saying yes to little things too!
With my blog, I’m noticing that it takes TIME if it’s to be done well. so, I’m gonna need a plan. Something like two hours writing 7 two hours promoting & reading other blogs etc. These become two big rocks…thanks for sharing!
Hi Padraig, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree writing a blog post everyday can take time especially if you want to put your best work forward. However I’ve realized that not each blog post has to be long and content-rich. Some can have a brief but powerful message, some can be illustrated through videos and images. You can play around with this and see how it goes. Glad you’re honing down on your big rocks of the moment 🙂
Sometimes it’s best to say No. Always saying Yes is a sure-fire way to burnout.
I find that I tend to say No to my family more than I say No at work. Being on vacation this past week, I have been able to say Yes to my family more and it is something I have needed to do. Having others dump things on me at work while I don’t say No is something that will be changing. Thanks for posting!
Jodi you’re right, its easier to say no to our health or personal responsbilities when the workload is heavy. I’m glad you’re finding a balance and getting comfortable with saying no! xo
Such a great post! And so hard to do sometimes. Totally agree that it makes life easier to do the big stuff first, and really say no to what doesn’t impact you life in a positive way. And I love the guide if words!
Thanks Cara! I often ask my clients to look at their life backwards (as if its their last day on the planet) and suddenly they have a different perspective on their priorities. I love your input on choosing based on what has a positive impact on our lives. xo
Great advice on listening to the language we are using to describe a situation. It’s a good compass.
I agree Sonja. Our words are simple but powerful indicators of our internal health. Thanks for commenting! xo
Great article Puja. I know that feeling. I also agree that we need work on the Big rock first, which I’ve been trying. Thank you.
Thanks Brenda! It helps to have that perspective to guide our life. I sense from your blog that you and Andrew are pretty clear about your life’s priorities and direction. love xo
Great post Puja! I love the Big Rocks demonstration. Thanks for the reminder! I have a worksheet for this that I completely forgot about. I could so relate to all the phrases you mentioned too, and am slowly giving myself more and more permission to say no. Thank you!
Michelle, I’m sure your clients benefit greatly from that worksheet 🙂 Learning to say no can be very empowering as we create the business and life we love. Thanks and love xo